Lana the Angry Banana

Lana the Angry Banana

By ©David Seow, 2007

Not too long ago in a warm toasty kitchen filled with all kinds of food and fruit,

there lived a banana named Lana.

Now Lana didn’t like being yellow; she didn’t like having brown spots;

she didn’t like being long. And she didn’t like anything or anyone.

Lana was one very angry banana.

No one knew why Lana was so angry.

But just as pigs 

are round and fat

Lana was angry 

and that was that.

“What’s the big deal?” asked Jim

“It’s great being yellow,” said Harriett

“We adore our brown spots,” said Lucy.

“And there’s absolutely nothing wrong with being long,” said Jumbo

All the other bananas nodded their heads in agreement.

This made Lana even angrier.

And the angrier she became, the meaner and nastier she got.

And the meaner and nastier she got meant trouble

 for the whole banana lot.

She began to punch and glare.

She began to push and shove.

And whomever she hurt she just did not just care.

Soon the other bananas became just as angry as Lana.

They began to smack and hit.

They began to pinch and poke

And this made Lana smile more than just a bit.

Pleased with what she had done Lana went off in search of others she could make angry.

“Stop fighting!” bellowed Jumbo.  

All the bananas stopped fighting right then and there.

They looked at each other.

They had no idea of what they were fighting for.

“Oh dear, this more serious than I thought

All it takes is just one rotten banana to turn us all bad,” said Jumbo.

“Uh-oh!” said the rest of the bananas. “What do we do? What do we do?

We don’t want to turn bad.”

“Well there’s only one thing to do. We’ve got to make Lana happy. Nothing makes a banana happier that making a dessert.”

The bananas thought of all the wonderful desserts they could make.

Each dessert they thought of was more wonderful than the last.

“Let’s make banana pudding,” said Lucy

“How about banana nut bread,” said Harriett

“No, Banana cream Pie,” said Jim.

“No, we’ve got to make the best banana dessert ever,” said Jumbo. “We’ve got to make a banana split.”

So the bananas invited the Sprinkles, the Nuts, Mr Hot Fudge, Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry Ice Cream, and Ms Cherry to help with their plan.

They all found a big bowl and jumped in. The Ice cream family- Vanilla, Chocolate, Strawberry plunged in first, followed by all the bananas, Mr Hot Fudge, the Sprinkles, the Nuts, and Ms Cherry. They made a beautiful dessert.

“Oh for goodness’ sake,” said Lana.

All that noise is giving me a headache. What are you doing?”

 “We’re throwing you a dessert party,” said Lucy.  “There’s nothing better than a dessert party.”

 But desserts made Lana angry. And parties made her even angrier.

And the angrier she became, 

the meaner she got.

And the meaner she got meant trouble

 for the bananas and the lot.

She began to push and shove

She began to punch and glare

But the bananas were so happy, 

they didn’t seem to care.

And this made her even angrier.

“Arrggh!!!” Lana screamed. 

She jumped off the table and onto the kitchen floor.

“I’m leaving. Don’t ever speak to me!” 

Just then two large feet walked toward her through the open door.

And so with a stomp and a squish,

We come to the end of this sorry tale

Of Lana the Angry Banana,

now squashed, flat, rotten and stale.

The End